What Kind of Marriage?
by Elise the Writing Desk
Summary: Just what I thought during my law class. You know, those times when you think you'll probably marry your laptop, your cat or your pillow when others are planning to have sex with flesh in a legal manner? Well, I know that feeling, and what comes out are pure cynical thoughts. AU


**What Kind of Marriage?  
**December 23rd 2013  
_by Elise the Writing Desk, Characters by __QuinRose_

* * *

I love my college, honestly. I love my college friends and my mentors; it's fun, busy and tiring, but...hey, I got friends (yeah, I'm lonely). After graduating, I'm guaranteed a job, so I got that going for me, which is nice.

Though there's just certain times when I hate my class, you know?

Well, it's whenever my favorite mentor, Professor Gowland, talks about a certain topic...

...around marriage.

"Well, I mean, rather than going all illegal and got yourself herpes, you should just go marry. You won't be pretty and handsome all the time, so you might want to get hitched to enjoy your glorious time." the ginger teacher explained casually, emitting laughters from the doofus around me.

It's not like I'm against marriage or anything.

But I'm just Alice Liddell.

The plain, invisible girl, that kind of girl who you'd found in the corner, browsing in my laptop...

...reading _manga_ or playing games...filled with hot, bishie boys...y'know...

Fine, I'm an _otaku_. Wait, not really. But...a little to that degree—compared to my friends, I am, but not that hardcore ones who'd sleep and marry a cardboard with their 2D chara printed on it, NO.

But, honestly, who _would_ want to marry me? That's the issue. Dang, I'm so sensitive at this topic. Whenever they talk about marriage, I'll just be laughing and smiling and listening and be like; 'yeah, ha ha ha, that's great...' how can all the people around me be so sure that they WILL marry someone?

I mean, when you marry some guy, you'll have to sleep together and live together with them. What if that guy hates you because you farted so loud? So then, you can't fart freely when you're supposed to spend the rest of your life with that guy—people would die.

Not just fart, okay? There are girls out there who'd be oh-my-fucking-dog ugly when they have no make-up on their face. And what about picking nose? Burping? Or suddenly got into a weird fit like, laughing like a pig in front of your husband...

And sex? There are girls who can hide their fat with creative mix-match, but when they're naked, what about that layers of fat on your stomach and your elephant thighs and pubes hair and armpit hair...all of those will be seen if you're gonna have sex, and he'd be like...'Holy shit, this girl is actually like this? Damn, creep. Why did I marry this bitch?'.

I can't get married. I won't get married.

Wait, wrong order. Whatever.

"But what about living expenses?" Pierce Villiers, the goodie-kiddie who'd reason out everything until he actually do something (he had planned to actually ask that question after consulting his seatmate, Elliot March, after an hour).

"Yeah, sir?" Crysta Snowpidgeon, whose interest and curiosity would follow up others and never had her own initiative. "Wouldn't we want secure a living first; a house, a car, steady life before getting someone involved?"

Professor smiled and nodded. "That's true, that's mature thoughts, yes. But that's double work, right? After steadying your own life, it will be rumbled again and needs adjustment after marriage. So if you marry and find your way together to a steady living, that'd be easier." he tapped his podium, finding momentum as his mind processed.

"Plus, the progress to reach the steady living would strengthen your bonds and love, erasing boundaries and accepting each others."

"Aww...that'd be cute..." Vivaldi squealed and sighed. "I guess that'd be a good idea."

"And you won't need protection." the ginger teacher winked, and the class broke into laughter. "Though it might take sometimes until you can afford to take care of a child."

"Dang, I ain't ever having a kid." Boris Airay, the university's popular rocker, held up his hands and grimaced in disgust. "Loud, annoying...I can't share my wife, just no." he shook his head, smirking.

"Hmm, then you'd need protection when you have sex...then it'd be pointless to marry after graduating..." Crysta concluded. She tapped her fingers, and suddenly laughed. "Unless it's a gay marriage!"

Instead of laughter, this new topic brought out excited whispers in the class. I wish it's over already...I'm bored, and hungry...(and lonely).

"Yes, about gay-marriage..." Professor Gowland had a criticizing frown on his face. "I think it'll be a trend when you graduate...it's already quite common right now. Plus, having the same-gender partner would ease your life since you have even more mutual understanding."

When Vivaldi raised her hand, everyone turned, because she'd probably ask something interesting.

"Professor, are you interested in a gay marriage?"

"Ha ha ha, I don't know, actually. We'll never know who we'll fall for."

"Re-tweet that." Boris nodded.

"Status updated." Crysta grinned, tapping her i-phone.

"Quote of the day..." Pierce mumbled as he took a note of the professor's words.

I unconsciously let out a sigh. Gay marriage? Let alone a guy, a girl wouldn't want me as well. I hate girls—they're so annoying—and I hate having periods—it's so annoying—so to sum up, I'm gonna be alone. I'm fine with.

It's the definition of wallflower, after all.

"You've been silent, Alice Liddell, and I hear that sigh just now." Professor laughed, and I feel eyes on me.

Uh-oh.

"So what about you, girl? What's your preferences?" he tilted his head, smiling.

"Yeah, interesting...Are you the marry-soon or marry-later type?" Ace Strife perked up curiously, after busily chatting with Julius Monrey. That brunet likes to tease me, trying to make me stood out more, while he can't even deal with Julius' attitude—so I guess he dawned it up on me.

"Actually, Alice, I'm curious if you have someone you like..." Crysta inched closer, being on my right.

"Is it a guy or a girl?" Boris grinned.

Why is this happening? I don't even—

"Ha ha, can I quote Professor again?"

"No."

Dang it.

I swiped the faces around me nervously. Marriage? How I picture marriage? Are you serious? I could only picture _you guys_ marrying! Like...in ten years later...we'd be having a reunion party in Burger King...and then Elliot March would slid in, and be like;

"So guys! This is my husband!" he'll affectionately leaned his shoulder to Blood Dupre, his best friend from different subject, and I would see love in that bastard's eyes as he gazed at the golden head.

And I'd be like; "Aha! I knew it...you'll end up with Bloody! Told you so." with satisfaction.

"Yeah, and I'm glad you said that, Alice...'cause I'm brimming with happiness." Elliot sighed, and cuddled to his husband as they picked a seat beside Vivaldi.

Vivaldi would be snogging Crysta that they won't notice anyone else.

"They're like eating each other's faces off." Boris laughed. "Even the burgers are jealous to see them!"

"Dad, are we supposed to see this?" and he'll have an adopted...no, twins adopted...and their name...uh, just say, Dee and Dum.

"You're not, but who cares, you'll see this anyway." Boris shrugged.

"So, Boris...who said that you 'ain't having kids'?" I'd smugly say.

"Now come on...don't give me that look, Al." he laughed. "I just can't leave them alone. They'll be my successors, right? Anyway, where's Ace and Jules?"

Then Pierce would rush out of the toilet, red-faced. "Uh...th-they're...hitting it off in there."

"Awww..."

"Wait, don't tell us. I'll bet on my Bask n' Robins treat..." Blood hummed. "...Ace's jacking him off."

"Really? I'll bet on Julius then." I'd say. "Julius is the _uke_, right?"

"Oh, you're actually right on the bat..." Pierce laughed shyly. "Though, I'm surprised, you're still onto those Japanese stuff, Alice."

"What are you doing yourself, Piercey?"

And I can picture Pierce and Boris exchanging flustered gazes. And we'd be cheering and 'aww'ing at them. Then Boris would pull out a box of ring and be like; "Yeah, yeah, don't say 'told you so', Alice."

Yeah. I don't know why I'm picturing that everyone's having gay-marriage...but it's probably because I'm reading too much _yaoi_ lately. I'm sanely and consciously know that I'm straight, however, I'm not interested in relationship with humans.

Humans can't accept me.

So when I'm back to my class, and everyone's still staring at me curiously, I just laugh nervously and be like;

"Ha ha...yeahh...I'll probably marry a tree."

~.X.~

Ten years later...

"Mom...where are we?"

"Oh, my...are these your children, Alice?" Vivaldi squealed, ruffling my sons' hair with both hands. Behind her was a dark-haired guy with golden eyes. "What are their names?"

"Well, this one's Dee...and this one's Dum." I gently said. "Kids, this is Aunt Vivaldi she's my friend at college." I stared at the guy behind her.

"Oh, this, is my husband, Gray Ringmarc. W-We met in Boston."

"Wait, that's the first year of your placement...!"

Vivaldi giggled. "Well...love at first sight?" she shrugged shyly. "Oh, you must see Crysta! You heard about her?"

"No, I've been in Japan for years, right? What about her?"

"There she is!"

Crysta comes running and the three of us share a big hug, squealing.

"I've missed you! I wanted to tell you so much! You won't believe this, but Professor proposed to me!"

Yeah. Vivaldi's married to the son of a wealthy consultant agency director. She's a woman with high standard, classy and graceful. Gray match all those personality, and he looks like a man with high patience, which complies the purplette's hot-head.

Professor Gowland proposed to Crysta last year. Crazy. And to think that Crysta once told me she wants to marry someone younger. Their age distance was five years. The platinum blonde looks beyond happy.

Julius is our director in our ministry department. He was always busy, he didn't come to our reunion party, but he's the one who paid for everything.

Boris dropped by for thirty minutes before leaving for his concert. He quitted college halfway, he was spotted by a talent agency and had been an international super-star. My sons almost fainted when they saw him—Dum asked him to sign his boxers.

My only correct prediction was that Blood and Elliot actually married. They're currently fighting, so Blood didn't come to our party.

Ace quitted the ministry, he's a traveler now. We talked to him through web cam that afternoon; he's on Kilimanjaro as we spoke.

"Dum, put on your pants—never do that again." Pierce scolded the red-eyed boy, and then came to me, smiling wryly, handing a drink. "Why did you...?"

"Come on, it's Boris...thirty-minutes of fame should not be wasted." I laughed. Seeing him pout, I smiled and kissed him on the cheek. "I'm sorry, okay?"

"Not yet." he shook his head, and suddenly stole a kiss on the lips. "Now you're forgiven. He he."

"Eww, dad's always so lovey-dovey." Dee sighed. Everyone laughed, and my husband blushed and hid behind my back.

"So, Alice?" we turned to the screen projecting the web-cam with Ace. "Were you high when you said you'd marry a tree?"

I hummed and crossed my arms thoughtfully, and Pierce gasped.

"I'm technically marrying trees, seeing that I'm working with so many _papers_ right now."

"Will you guys stop bringing that up? I remember when I asked her about it...and I made a mistake."

"What mistake?" Elliot laughed.

"I asked how can a tree be better than me." Pierce sulked as I grinned naughtily. Our friends laughed again.

"And she answered that the only weakness a tree could have is, that it can't emit Wi-Fi signal."

* * *

**Yeah. This is pretty much the class I'm in right now. But...but...BUT just imagine, if trees can emit Wi-Fi signals, we'd probably plant so many of them and save the earth! *cough **

**Kindly review if you have the time. :D**


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